My life is sucked !!!

Guess I've screwed up everything .. Everything seems to get from bad to worse ..

My life is very stressful at the moment , and the difficulty in balancing life with studies and relationship is creating increased stress for me... Haiz...

Reality is freaking cruel , can i run away, avoid and escape reality?? I am stuck in the present !!!! I am stuck in this awful situation where I dont know what is going on and what is gonna happen next... But I dont want to go back to the past .. How bout future ??? time machine ?? Nay , i dont think my future can get any better ... Idiot, why am I being so pessimistic ... pathetic retard chimpanzee ..


I've messed up everything ... What Have I Done ... Why is everyone ignoring me ??

Found a song that portrays my feelings now.. An old song .. Just gonna type out the important part

Do you ever feel like breaking down? (yeah , breaking )
Do you ever feel out of place? ( yup yup)
Like somehow you just don't belong (so true...)
And no one understands you ( i wonder how u read my mind )
Do you ever want to run away? (from reality but not runaway from home)
Do you lock yourself in your room? ( when bathing lo..)
With the radio on turned up so loud ( radio in the hall..)
That no one hears you screaming ( cant do that .. too quite at home)
No you don't know what it's like (YOU DONT KNOW)
When nothing feels alright ( completely nothing)
You don't know what it's like (YOU DONT KNOW)
To be like me ( dont be like me .. never !!)
To be hurt, (hurt so bad)
to feel lost ( lost in nowhere)
To be left out in the dark ( during daytime also left out la)
To be kicked when you're down ( kick right at my ass)
To feel like you've been pushed around ( centripetal force = mv2/r)
To be on the edge of breaking down ( ready to jump down )
And no one's there to save you ( save me, mr. noBody..)
No you don't know what it's like ( YOU DONT KNOW)
Welcome to my life ( GET LOST... you're not welcome)
Do you wanna be somebody else? ( Mmm.. who?? ? somebody hot la)
Are you sick of feeling so left out? ( so so sick, dying)
Are you desperate to find something more ( depends on what is the "something")
Before your life is over?(..soon)
Are you stuck inside a world you hate? ( i dont hate la//.. but stuck la)
Are you sick of everyone around? ( maybe some with face problem..)
With their big fake smiles and stupid lies ( those conners....!!!)
While deep inside you're bleeding (blood is oozing like shit)
Welcome to my life ( yes ah??!!)
Welcome to my life (whatever la !!!)


Doing this is actually kinda fun... haiz... tons of problems are needed to be solved but i dont think i cant manage to find a solution for them... So.... sick ...

I wanna go to the beach that free from bitches and bitching
I wanna have a lorry of chocolates in my house and stuff my mouth with chocolates ...(somebody told me eat chocolate can cause people to shock sendiri... )

Damn !!!!